March 20, 2010. I arrive at the DC Armory for my second race, the National Half Marathon, fully equipped and full of experience and confidence from the Austin Half Marathon last month. I've got it all: amphipod hydration belt, clif bloks, coconut water, iPod, cell phone, $2.99 Kmart warm-up sweatshirt, Under Armour visor, and my finisher's shirt from the Austin marathon, declaring for all to see, that I did in fact finish a half marathon last month. Yeah, I'm cool. I suckered my hubbie into taxiing me to the starting line, so I waltz up, form my own shorter line at the crowded port-a-johns, and scoot on into my starting corral with 10 minutes until race time.
I am super proud of my finisher's shirt, which announces in huge red text that I "RAN AUSTIN". I look around to enjoy the other racers' looks of admiration and envy as I remove my tossable sweatshirt (another way to look "in the know") to show off my finisher's shirt. My first glance to my right reveals another racer sporting the same RAN AUSTIN logo. Hmmm, I take another look around, and in fact, most of the runners are wearing their souvenier shirts, many from races farther away and much longer than mine. I guess that's what you get when you sign up for a race that requires a qualifying time, which, by the way, I managed to get in Austin the month before.
This led me to the question: What is the best fashion choice for distance races? Here are a few of my favorites from the National Half Marathon in DC:
1. The guy in the Batman costume.
He was cool, not because of his padded artificial ab muscles, but because he was the only racer I saw in a true full costume. I've researched wearing marathon costumes before, as they seem like a good way to make people laugh while distracting them from my actual running ability, but I haven't gone through with it yet. The funniest picture I ever came across was a runner promoting awareness for testicular cancer, so I will leave that one to your imagination.
2. The guy in the high cut racing shorts.
When I say high cut, I am talking full spanky pant exposure during each step. I followed him for a while, but eventually I got tired of pacing myself to the tempo of his flying shorts. I decided to expend some energy and pass him to escape the view.
3. The perky beautiful girl in the tight leopard print racing skirt.
Got to give her credit, she looked good. But this kind of envy-inducing fashion is just the sort of thing I need to fuel my competitive jealousy and speed up my pace. I followed her until mile 12, when I realized her hair still looked perfect and racing had no effect on her makeup whatsoever. I decided to pass her just to prove to myself that I still "had it" too.
4. The bodybuilder in the muscle shirt.
His muscles were impressive, but the B.O. was not. Make sure you invest in a quality deodorant if you are going to go sleeveless. He did make me run faster, though, because I happened to be downwind.
5. Charity Running T-Shirts, my personal favorite
I was thrilled to pass another runner who, like me, was running to raise money for autism. I made sure to pull up alongside him and tell him all about my son and my efforts to raise money through my running. We both wished each other luck, and sped our separate ways. Even if nobody comments on your charity T-shirt, I guarantee somebody noticed it and wished you the best, so wear it with pride.
All in all, I owe a special thanks to each of these racers for fueling me on in their own unique way. The bottom line is, no matter what you wear to a distance race, you are now one of the top one-half of one percent of people in the US who have run a marathon, and that makes you cool regardless. I finished the half marathon with a new PR, 1:55:49, sweaty messed up hair and all, feeling, if not looking, like a million bucks.
I am super proud of my finisher's shirt, which announces in huge red text that I "RAN AUSTIN". I look around to enjoy the other racers' looks of admiration and envy as I remove my tossable sweatshirt (another way to look "in the know") to show off my finisher's shirt. My first glance to my right reveals another racer sporting the same RAN AUSTIN logo. Hmmm, I take another look around, and in fact, most of the runners are wearing their souvenier shirts, many from races farther away and much longer than mine. I guess that's what you get when you sign up for a race that requires a qualifying time, which, by the way, I managed to get in Austin the month before.
This led me to the question: What is the best fashion choice for distance races? Here are a few of my favorites from the National Half Marathon in DC:
1. The guy in the Batman costume.
He was cool, not because of his padded artificial ab muscles, but because he was the only racer I saw in a true full costume. I've researched wearing marathon costumes before, as they seem like a good way to make people laugh while distracting them from my actual running ability, but I haven't gone through with it yet. The funniest picture I ever came across was a runner promoting awareness for testicular cancer, so I will leave that one to your imagination.
2. The guy in the high cut racing shorts.
When I say high cut, I am talking full spanky pant exposure during each step. I followed him for a while, but eventually I got tired of pacing myself to the tempo of his flying shorts. I decided to expend some energy and pass him to escape the view.
3. The perky beautiful girl in the tight leopard print racing skirt.
Got to give her credit, she looked good. But this kind of envy-inducing fashion is just the sort of thing I need to fuel my competitive jealousy and speed up my pace. I followed her until mile 12, when I realized her hair still looked perfect and racing had no effect on her makeup whatsoever. I decided to pass her just to prove to myself that I still "had it" too.
4. The bodybuilder in the muscle shirt.
His muscles were impressive, but the B.O. was not. Make sure you invest in a quality deodorant if you are going to go sleeveless. He did make me run faster, though, because I happened to be downwind.
5. Charity Running T-Shirts, my personal favorite
I was thrilled to pass another runner who, like me, was running to raise money for autism. I made sure to pull up alongside him and tell him all about my son and my efforts to raise money through my running. We both wished each other luck, and sped our separate ways. Even if nobody comments on your charity T-shirt, I guarantee somebody noticed it and wished you the best, so wear it with pride.
All in all, I owe a special thanks to each of these racers for fueling me on in their own unique way. The bottom line is, no matter what you wear to a distance race, you are now one of the top one-half of one percent of people in the US who have run a marathon, and that makes you cool regardless. I finished the half marathon with a new PR, 1:55:49, sweaty messed up hair and all, feeling, if not looking, like a million bucks.
Hilarious! And congrats on the great time!
ReplyDeleteBrett just signed up for some race in MD called the Warrior Dash and think costumes are mandatory. Can't wait to see that.